I know it's thought of as another cheesy dog movie, but it was different.

I took Jen to see it yesterday, and it definitely opened up the emotions.

Something about that dog, the look in his eyes, and especially the cinematography around Odin (the dog) staring down a grizzly bear after being urged by his owner (Pitt) to look away and not challenge it.

Something in the battle torn eyes of the dog gave the grizzly bear and understanding, a fear, whatever it was... and the AI generated grizzly bear back down and left.

It was a cool moment, and that one scene created lots of attachment for me, to the dog Odin.  The eternal friend with you to the end, after seeing so much pain.

Somehow in the hours and day to follow it opened a door of emotion about my dad.

For some reason I just started thinking about the things he used to say, and do, and the way I felt being around him.

And now, to have him gone, never to return in that form made me understand how much I miss that steadfast voice and the old world words of wisdom about not needing to take certain risks, patience, hard work, etc.

It also made me realize how much sadness is just kicking around inside me that will come pouring out eventually.

Though it got lukewarm reviews, the girls and I really liked this one.

The fight scenes with Mando taking out tons of bad guys, with Grogu using the force to help him out when absolutely needed, were awesome.

It's an orphan story.  A little one with no family and no home.  Being taken under wing by a bounty hunter with a heart.

The full plot escapes me, but in essence he was hired to find someone and take him out.

He ended up making morally righteous choices with heart, after leaving the little one behind for a time, only to reconnect and realize they are helplessly attached to one another.

A sweet story with cool action sequences, and lots of heart where it's called for.

Both girls liked it.  I liked it.  Win.

This move was a trip.  At times ported me back to middle and high school feelings of being ostracized, even though it was partly due to me being so shy.

Partly by choice, and party because I felt I didn't have a chance of fitting in (I also lacked confidence - and I think kids at that age can sense it!), I was content with my little tribe.  Computer video games, exploring storm drains and tunnels 'round the city, building go carts, forts, and oh so much more.

I don't know if I was born this way, or if it was some sort of defense mechanism, but I just never really truly "wanted" to fit in with the cool kids.

It just didn't feel natural to me.

The cliques just seemed strange and awkward. 

I didn't even really want to try.

Even when I went back to a couple of high school reunions, I still felt like an outsider amongst the ASB kids, the jocks, the cool kids, and all the rest of the groups.

And during college, there was zero part of me that wanted to rush a fraternity.

I simply don't feel comfortable around conformist sorts of mainstream groups.

I hate it when I feel other's have an expectation for how I should act, what I should do, and how I should spend my time.

These things are unsaid, but you can feel the expectations and the judgements.

So...back to the movie. :)

Yeah, an extreme example of not being accepted, being shunned, maligned, and bullied.

There's nothing worse than being outwardly shunned by a group.

We humans are wired to want to be at least included in some sort of tribe.

And when there's enough social proof that one is a pariah, it makes one feel ugly inside.

It's a survival thing I guess.

This movie was great in that it made me feel empty, sad, icky inside.

I really, really hate horror movies, but they always seem to grab me with curiosity, and ooohhh.... how I regret starting this one with Binky.  It sucked me in, and then it started to make me feel weird, so I had to stop it after an hour.

Then I mentioned it to my sister, and she said Jake he watched it and it messed him up for several days.

So that freaked me out.

So I texted Jake and asked him if I should continue, and if he regretted watching it.

No regrets, but he said it gets worse.

I'm on the fence now.

It feels like I'm going to end up finishing it, out of curiosity... but if the end result is anything like what Paranormal Activity did to me, I'm in for quite a ride, and a bunch of regret for watching this.

It's by the same director that made Hereditary which I saw.  It made me feel empty inside and it was horrifyingly sad and desperate.

Why oh why do I do this to myself?