When presented with the page on the left - the checkboxes of different traits, it all just seemed so easy.

I definitely think of myself in a certain way.  I just wonder if others see me in the same way.

Here are my thoughts on this.

On perceiving myself as adaptable and friendly and conflict-resolving:

I kept my various groups of childhood friends separate because I wanted to make sure everything was copasetic at all times.

I can't stand it what members of a group don't like each other.  I thrive of, and yearn for the synergy of the group. Strong personalities going toe to toe create an angst inside of me. It makes me want to retreat.

I just want everybody to get along and have a good time.

It's not realistic, but it's a thing I bring to a group. I am willing to sacrifice my own happiness for the betterment of the group.

I say this only because I am an adaptable person, with a sort of versatility I feel is rare.

My friends, from childhood, on up through the adult years are disparate. 

I feel comfortable within each of the groups, and I'm terrified of them integrating.

You see, I hang out with classical male American sports fanatics.

I also hang out with board game nerds.

I hang out with tech junkies.

I hang out with fitness dudes.

I hang out with my super brilliant high school friends.

I hang out with introspective travelers.

And I hang out with an online entrepreneur or two.

There are more groups coming, as I branch out into the world after selling my business.

I can connect with all of them - yet I fear them trying to connect with each other.

I'm adaptable, after all.  I'm friendly too.  And if they integrate, I am good at distracting things back into an equilibrium of sorts, steering things away from conflict.

On perceiving myself as analytical, critical-thinking, logical, and problem-solving:

I remember the first big purchase I made with my own money was the Commodore 64 computer and monitor.

Soon, I was able to purchase the disk drive too.

From video games and into Bulletin Board Systems (BBSs) of the mid-late 80's, I dove into the code to customize my own Bulletin Board System other personal computers could call/connect with through the phone line, using a modem.

I broke down into the code of the BBS software and began to customize the look and feel of my BBS.  Every word, every color, every graphic, I made it my own.  I chose a sort of medieval theme for it all.

And any time one customizes something in the digital world, one will likely encounter many problems.  And problems need solve.  And by God did I solve them.

Some took me minutes.  Others took me days.

I rarely came out of my cave.  I was in there trying to make things better and better.  Improving upon past improvements.

These traits mushroomed into my professional career as a hybrid business/technical person. I'd look at the business requirements, and then customize the software to support said requirements.  

Problem-solving at it's peak.

You have to understand the problem before you solve it.  And then when you dig in, you find things about the problem you didn't know were there.  You pivot.  You tweak.  You test.  And pivot again.  Repeat.

This is the way.

Then I used these traits in the creation of my own online businesses.

Break it all into pieces.  Create a plan.  Now work through the plan step by step.  And problem-solve your way through to the end.

This is also the way.

On perceiving myself as dedicated, dependable, disciplined, focused, hard-working, responsible, and resilient:

These traits are so tightly integrated, I want to wrap them up in a little bow here.

To solve all the problems I had to solve took extreme discipline and focus.  Especially when I ran my own business and had no boss other than myself.

The discipline gets you to the desk.  The discipline gets you to the task.  The dedication and focus keeps you moving forward on the task, until the task is done.  The resiliency keeps you going when you fail at the task.

The dependability comes when you have to depend on yourself, and no one else.

I had to be all of these things, or starve. :)

And I showed a capability of being these things when I was young, and mom had a hot meal waiting for me every night.

Add these things together, and you have a responsible person.

Yes, I see myself in all of these ways.  I think other people do too.

On perceiving myself as honest and trustworthy:

It's not a win if you cheat.

You know the truth if you lie to someone.  If you cheat.  Steal.  Manipulate sadistically.

You know the ugliness inside yourself.

If I say I'll do something important for someone, I will do it.

If I have a chance to take advantage of a situation in an unsavory way, I won't.

It's how I am.  In business.  And now in my personal life.

When I was younger, sometimes I wasn't dependable to my friends.

I have regrets of turning my back on a friend or two.

The disappointment I felt in myself, about myself, was the teacher I needed so I would not create more regrets of this kind in my life.

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And on the next page of the journal, I put all these into sentences with the "why" or "how" I have expressed these traits.

Just starting to connect with myself, my traits, with intention.