I've been dreading this trip to Cancun. I'm just not into it, and not in a good head space for this. I'll just pretend I'm ok for 4-5 days until I'm home. I'll be as scarce as is reasonable.

Today made it even harder. 

I haven't mentioned my father much on this blog. Maybe I'm suppressing feelings, I'm not sure.

The truth is, mentally, emotionally, he seems to be gone. He's my dad.  I love him.  But he's not there in a way I can experience him anymore.

It's so terribly sad.

And today, I was over to watch the Bruins game with Al and Dad, and I could barely get a smile out of dad.

I helped him eat his lunch, and helped him take drinks, but he's really not very much aware of who is around or what is happening.

I did crack a joke about a "weird guy" and got a laugh and a "oh Dan, you're crazy.".

That was the highlight.  That's really all I could get, but it's something.

Soon, it won't be much of anything.

All I really have is the memories of him now, and it's oh so sad.

Then, my youngest lied to me.  Again.

I've been very accepting of boyfriends, and letting her hang out with them.  As long as I know where she is, who is there, and that there are parents who care around.

Then today.  I was told she'd be going to eat with him "around the Pierpont area".  Only to find, through Find My, that she was at John's house.

She said his mom and sister were there.  Jen texted his mom.  His mom called Jen, and said that no, she and the sister were not there, and that she was sorry and she'd talk to John about what happened.

When the little one got home, I asked why she lied.

She laid into me, in an attempt to turn it around on me by saying I'm too strict, and judgy. The truth?  I've never said "no" to her hanging out with a boyfriend. In fact, I was OK with her hanging out with John today.  At a restaurant.  At the beach.  Whatever.  She had no problem telling me, because I don't judge.  She knows I'm not a fan of my girls dating, but it's also a part of life and I realize that.

Her and I have talked at length about this.

Yet, she tried to throw me under the bus in order to deflect from her big lie.

I have no idea what went on at the house with an 18 year old boy and a 16 year old girl.  And I don't want to know.  Maybe I'll never know and that would probably be for the best.

Then, in an attempt to collect myself and my sanity, I go over to moms house, and hear her weeping in the dark, in the back, alone.

It's been 14 years, to the day, since my brother passed.  And she misses him.

So, there was that.  A heavy weight still there.

I know this day shall pass, as well as this trip to Cancun that I'm absolutely dreading, for many reasons.  I'm not in the mood.  It's not what I need right now.

I'm very upset and I just don't really know what I need.

I remember it pretty vividly.

I coudn't get it out of my mind.

Back one day in the late 80's, I saw it sitting on the top shelf of a hobby shop at the mall, I believe.

HeroQuest.

I think I had to have help getting it down so I could read the back of the box.

I was enamored.  D&D in a smaller box, in board game form!

I didn't have any money, but I couldn't get it out of my head for the next 2-3 days.

I was able to scrap up enough money, went back and bought it!

We played it.  My brothers played it.  Friends played it.

Dungeon.  Monsters.  Treasures.  Spells.  I mean, who wouldn't love this?

Well... fast forward to 2025, 2026... they've remade it with an APP as the "dungeon master" (Zargon).

Shag bought it.  Gave it to me to learn.

And we decided to try it out today, at the Punchboard, on a Friday @ 2 (which has never happened, because it's filming commercials day, and Kenan wanted it filled and asked us to come).

It was the perfect excuse.

It was fun... but once we cleared all the rooms, the game didn't end.  

Ah!  We had to find a secret door.  And of course it was back in the room where we killed the main boss of the level.

Bah!

Anyway, quest #1 finished successfully, and on to the next, with our loot!

I have yet to win a single game of Mansions of Madness.  I believe this was the 4th try!

Stripped this down to the base game, grabbed the IPAD, after some organizing,, and hauled down to Punchboard to play with Steve, Chris, and a guy I knew back in 2014 (from West Coast), Chad.

Everything started off great, and the guys got into it immediately.

Then, as this game goes, as time moves on, the wheels start to fall off.

Monsters, injuries, insanity, puzzles and all the rest.

The big problem: we never read our character cards, and forgot we had special abilities.  This could have changed things.

We tried to catch up on those benefits later on, but it was too late.

Chris went insane, and we'd be unable to win if there were ANY search tokens left on the board.  Well, there were.

And we missed a horror check for Chad, and couldn't back up.  And a slew of other things were missed.

In the end, Chris managed to escape, but we lost due to there being search tokens left.

Some day I will win a damn game of this!

This was the first mission, attempted for the second time.  

Another Wednesday night, and a fun (though slightly difficult to learn) game called "Come Together". Kevin taught this game which is all about putting on the best 60's music festival, ala Woodstock.

Finally, we got to play with an owner of Punchboard, Edith!

The board is lit up with pastel colors, small text, and wonky icons.  It "looks" like a lot and it kind of is at first.

It was one of those games where you have to ask a bunch of questions during your first couple turns.  The you begin to get the flow, and even start to formulate a strategy.

Edith and Steve seemed quick to "get" things, while I felt like I was fumbling around in last place.

As an aside, Edith definitely made it a more lively experience than is typical, and we all ended up laughing way more than usual.

Somehow, my balanced strategy worked and I ended up handsomely ahead at the end.

I had a blast, victory tends to do that, but the fun was also in part to the new energy at the table.

Good times keep on rolling at this sweet Board Game Cafe! <3

After parking over 1 mile away (to my surprise) in downtown Hollywood, and walking that distance to the Hollywood Bowl (after a great car ride with awesome conversation with my youngest daughter), we found our seats were really "obstructed".  Apparently it was more than just a warning on the ticketmaster site, it was actually a real thing.

We could see the stage, at this angle, but not the main screen.

After some talented opening musicians (they really are talented, the Hernandez brothers) but I couldn't help but think that every song was really long and I couldn't firmly tell when one song ended and another began because it all sounded similar.

It was desert themed guitar + slide guitar instrumentals, with some bongos thrown in there on a loop.

I'm going to call it experimental music that conjures up images and feelings.  It would be awesome for a long car ride, but sitting and waiting for the main performer made it a little monotonous and boring after about 20 minutes.

Then, Jack came on stage and we loved it! Plus, the nice guys sitting to the right of us decided to go swoop in on better seats and told us we could move over and take their.  Boom!  Now we could see the screen.

Jack played most of his popular hits, told stories about his beginnings and his Isla Vista/UCSB days back in '94.  "Those were the days" he said.

Squeak and I knew almost every song, and sang along for most of the concert. She's amazing with memorizing lyrics!

Then, he pulled the Hernandez brothers back on stage to jam with, then Ben Harper (who helped Jack and his band get comfortable with touring back in 2001), and then, the great surfing legend Kelly Slater came on stage, as a good friend of Jack's, and they played a song.

It was an awesome night with my little one.

One I'll never forget.  We both love Jack Johnson songs, and it was a night to remember that we got to see him live, together, at the beautiful Hollywood Bowl which even hosted a few rain drops! :)

It was an impromptu decision. I saw the Bruno Mars concert flash across the screen, and upcoming date at SoFi stadium in LA.

My mind flashed to all the Bruno Mars songs our family his listened to through the years, and the hip hop dance routine the girls performed to "Uptown Funk", going became a must.  And it must be all of us.

After hearing that Jen and Linda had left their BTS seats at SoFi, in favor of the standing room only section in the 400's, and seeing that those SRO tickets were only $137 a piece -- we made sure schedules were clear, and I got the tickets, along with a parking pass.

I am so glad I did.

None of us will ever forget that.  The girls sang along to most of the songs, and it was a magical night.

It started with "Pee Wee" the DJ, who we found out today was Anderson.Paak, a former FTHS student who graduated in 2004.  He was hilarious and got the crowd riles by calling out to different decades, and playing some of the most popular/recognizable songs of the day.

Next was the stunning Raye, a British artist who was playing on the biggest stage of her career.

She was very sweet and connected on an emotional level with the audience. Even though the lyrics were hard to understand due to the acoustic qualities of SoFi, the message and emotion was clear.

She felt like a throwback to a different day, a classic style with beauty and charm.

I admit I teared up when she got real about the peaks and valleys of life, and plead with the audience never to give up on this 1 life.  No matter how hard.

She was awesome.

And then...

Bruno.

He stunned and amazed me with his stage presence, vocals, and musicianship across the bongos, guitar, and piano.

When you combine that kind of natural talent with a lifetime of performances to over a 34 year career, starting when he was about 6 in Honolulu, Hawaii, the result is magic.

He excited, he moved you to tears, he made you feel, and run the gamut of emotions.

I just loved seeing my girls dancing and singing along.  They absolutely loved it.

I think today, we are all missing the moments of last night, and the artists who brought them to is.

This feeling will pass, but the memories will remain. I'm so glad we did it, and I'll never forget it.